Posts

It's complex.

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It's complex.    I want to shake the hand that slapped me, and I want to burn the hand that slapped me. I long to see you as a child. I want to see you smile with baby teeth, scraped knees and wearing a shirt with your favourite superhero. I want to see you next to your parents and meet your brother. I need to see you as a person, a son, a s ibling, a child.  I need to see you as something other than your hands.  I imagine your way to schoo l. I think about your favourite subjects and childhood nemesis. I try to guess your favourite smell and the food you would crave when you were feeling sad. I make a mental note of old songs I think you would have danced to or turned the radio off for. In none of t hese fantasies do you grow up to drink or get mad.  I don’t exist in these thoughts, imagining that my presence might be the reason for your ang er.  I want to believe that you were a happy boy. A curious angel, striving to make a change. A friend who admits...

Do His Eyes Recognise His Hands?

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  Do His Eyes Recognise His Hands?  - Maybe we  should just hit each other  if communication  doesn’t  work anymore .  His eyes refuse to meet mine. The boy in front o f me avoids my gaze as he fantasises about dragging my cold corps e on the dirty pub floor. I think . I  actually  don’t   know  what he imagines  doing to me , because  he’s  too scared to look at me after  dropping something that feels like a bomb  o n us.  His boyish smile  doesn’t  seem  to agree, and his legs that refuse to stop shaking even after he takes a sip of his beer betray him. The boy is  nervous; he is scared after his joke. A dark, unfunny, rude, obscene sentence makes him shiver. His eyes that refuse to look at me  aren’t  mean . They  don’t  want to hit me, instead they roam around the room, praying to find something distracting enough to avoid my reaction.  What is  my ...

The Sound of Music - Week 4

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  The Sound of Music - Week 04 On Bugonia, La La Land, and Jon Brion Hiya! After a long little break, I'm finally back with the final three episodes of my radio show! This semester flew by me and I'm seriously exhausted... I cannot wait to go home and relax... at the Cinémathèque ;)  I will upload the next few episodes at the start of each week, so that I'll be back home once the last episode is out! I seriously cannot believe that I'm done with my first semester of university and that I have an exam in 6 days... (for which I still haven't started studying...) It's been so much fun!  I will miss this little show for the next few weeks, and hope to be able to return next year! Fingers crossed...  Anyway, here's episode three:  This Week's Playlist Includes   Good Luck, Babe! - Chappell Roan  Phantom Resurrectionem - Jerskin Fendrix  Reality - Vladimir Cosma, Richard Sanderson Another Day of Sun - La La Land Cast Mia & Sebastian's Theme - Justin...