leni‘s swagger

All My Abusers Are Feminists On Performative Men and Se xu al Degradation  “But he was always so nice to me.”         In my twenty years of womanhood,   I’ve  learnt to fear men . I  don’t  flinch like a beaten puppy when I see a man on the screen or start shivering when a teenage boy passes by me. I  don’t  mean the dramatically exaggerated fear  you’d  think of when I write these words, nor do I mean to make you laugh .     I’ve  learnt to fear men who call me pretty or laugh at my jokes.  I’ve  learnt to make myself as small as possible when  I feel a man’s arms  wrap around me.  I’ve  learnt to “shut up and take it” when their icy hands touch my thighs.  I’ve  learnt to be good when he tells me to be good, and  I’ve  learnt to smile when he tells me to be bad .     Who is he? A criminal? A thief? A pirate? A corporate CEO or a small-wage worker?...

The Sound of Music - Week 03  On favourite films, fresher's flu, and sad songs Welcome back to Week 03 of The Sound of Music! After taking a well-deserved break in reading week, I'm now back and weaker than ever... Fresher's flu knocked me out and any listener will agree here... Many slip-ups and random babbling, I sincerely apologise! I did sign a contract that I'd show up every week, so I have to follow through...  Anyway, this episode features songs from my favourite films of all time, because I'm a free-spirited gal who deserves to force others to listen to her read the Paris, Texas monologue!! I regret nothing.  I still don't know when it's appropriate to start playing Christmas songs, so I tried to fill the show with anything but festive music...  I hope you enjoy this week's episode! This Week's Playlist Includes Paint it, Black - The Rolling Stones Surfin' Bird - The Trashmen Singin' in the Rain - Gene Kelly  First Movement: Allegro (...

  The Sound of Music - Week 02 On Wes Anderson, David Lynch, and butchering words  Hiya! It's officially week 2 for my radio show!! This time, I'm delving more into the works of auteurs and overcoming my fear of instrumental songs. I mean some of them are just plain BORING... Where are the WORDS!? Hm, maybe this is a form of exposure therapy for me?  I love being a radio host and controlling stuff on air, but I couldn't foresee the horrible butchering of a word... It was too obvious to cut out, so I'm being quite vulnerable here...  Again, kudos for Belfield.FM for allowing me to express myself and yap about topics I really care about!  A little side note: considering that it's currently Reading Week, there won't be a new episode next week... I'll try to entertain you some other way, but for now you'll just have to tune into this episode and listen to it over and over again until I'm back...  My plan for episode three: talk about my favourite films, ...

  Luna   very proud Leni holding a copy of the beautiful magazine ft her broken finger This summer, I had the immense pleasure and privilege of writing a short story for queer.lu , a Luxembourgish magazine that centres around queer topics, as well as current social issues and art.  I was overjoyed when I received the opportunity to submit something and immediately started brainstorming.  I t was my final year of secondary school and I had just survived ( barely !) 2 atrociously toxic breakups. I felt like they fed off the toxicity from each other and used it to bring me down in the most cruel and humiliating ways.  Apart from that, the worst thing from the situation was that I had still loved both of them, in very different ways. The person I wrote this text about is one of the 2 people, and it's something I never thought I'd have to write. They knew me from the inside out, reaching levels far beyond anyone could and would ever reach. It was a lot for me to deal...